Achoo, pass a tissue

Cough, sniff, blow, wipe and ..... whine. Not sure if my seasonal allergies are getting an early Spring start or if I caught the office bug that's being passed around with blatant disregard to my health, happiness and productivity. *Gasp* One cannot work with a head that feels as though it weighs 30 pounds and a constantly dripping nasal faucet with no visible shut-off valve.

What's more attractive than a bulbous chapped red nose? Nothing unless .... you're looking for a romantic interlude with Rudolph. The variety of tissue options from lotion, ultra soft, menthol, anti-viral to the ever popular extra large makes selection taxing. My head hurts too much to think. I just want--- a tissue.

According to Wikipedia, "A sneeze (or sternutation) is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the lungs that occurs when a particle (or sufficient particles) passes through the nasal hairs and reaches the nasal mucosa. This triggers the production of histamines, which reach the nerve cells in the nose, which then send a signal to the brain to initiate the sneeze, which relates the initial signal and creates a large opening of the nasal cavity, resulting in a powerful release of air and bioparticles. The reason behind the powerful nature of a sneeze is its involvement of not simply the nose and mouth, but numerous organs of the upper body - it is a reflectory response that involves the muscles of the face, throat, and chest."

I have sneezed too much, too hard and too often resulting in similar aches and pains of 1,000 stomach crunches without the benefit of firm abs. It's not fair!

Observe sneezers around you. You will find at least three types: the polite ones (who barely make a sound and risk injuring their eardrums); the loud ones (who make your eardrums rattle) and, the ever popular sleeve sneezers. Who invented that move anyway? Seriously, is it really more hygienic to sneeze in the crook of your elbow than to use your hand to cover your mouth? The little germs still migrate everywhere and are as impossible to stop as the bulls in Pamploma.

Thank heavens for purse-sized hand sanitizers!

Achoo!

Pass a tissue ...

puhleeze!