Travel Along with Me

I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the layout of this blog. Try as I might, I can't tweak it to get things lined up as nicely as I'd like.

As a child I'd only ventured to two neighboring States' attractions, Ohio's Sea World and West Virginia's Canaan Valley and Black Water Falls.

Ed and I have taken our children to see the American & Canadian sides of Niagra Falls, D.C., New Jersey and Maryland's beaches and to see Mickey in Orlando.

My daughter and I went to San Antonio to watch her friend graduate from Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base (the very same base my dad trained at). While there we had the honor of seeing the Alamo and the pleasure of strolling the Riverwalk.

New York City (Love it!! -- enough so that I've gone back numerous times and would go again tomorrow if the opportunity arose).





















I thank my dear friend, Vicki, for introducing me to NYC, Knoxville, The Biltmore in NC, Atlanta & Dublin, Georgia, and last but not least--- New Orleans pre Katrina.

Several trips required touch-downs and/or plane changes and I can't even remember how many States my toes touched for those. Would they count if someone would ask me, "Have you ever been to?"



Now that our children are grown Ed and I have ventured out of the continental United States. Our first "Island" vacation was spent in St. Lucia and our second in Jamaica. I'm hoping to add many more Islands in the coming years.







And now ........... my home State. Pennsylvania holds many beautiful wonders of nature, many of which I've had the pleasure of seeing and many still on my wish list. I'm hoping to check out Gravity Hill this coming weekend.

Stay tuned and I'll letcha know if cars really do roll up hill there.

Auction Crashing

Red Baron Antique Auction, Atlanta, Georgia --- 2005.

Never heard of it until my best friend, Vicki, and I crashed one in June that year. She and I were on our way home from visiting her parents in Dublin, Georgia when we took a slight detour looking for the Steak-n-Shake for a quick bite before heading back to Tennessee.

An unusually painted antique ambulance caught our eye on the way to the diner so we agreed to stop and check it out after we'd eaten. Vicki was actually humoring me because I wanted to snap a few photos of the silly car.

We ate and drove back to the ambulance to investigate. When we were greeted by a valet we exchanged quizzical glances, chuckled and handed the young lady the keys. The parking area was filled with antique cars so we wandered around aimlessly and checked them out.

Adjacent to the antique cars were two buildings:

One held huge decorative yard ornaments -- bird baths and the like including a few gargoyles and an adorable moose where I snapped several photos and even posed with the moose.

Next, we decided to check out the other, much larger building. We walked inside talking with two friendly gentlemen, They stopped at the greeting desk and we continued inside without them and was welcomed by the soft sounds of a piano being played by a man ... in tails!?!?

As we walked around our eyes feasted on enormous stained glass windows, ornate bars, antique furniture, paintings and fine jewelry.

We hadn't been there long before we found ourselves surrounded by men in suits and women in formal attire. As it turns out, they were collectors of fine artifacts and interior decorators for wealthy clientele. Waiters and waitresses passed among us offering appetizers and directed us to the wine bar and hors d'oeurves table.

We checked the fine print on the back of our brochure detailing the evening's events and found, to our surprise, that we had just crashed the preview showing of the upcoming Red Baron Antique Auction. A $100 per person admission preview showing!

We even dawdled somewhat (one dawdles in Georgia, one does not bolt for the door!) before retrieving her car and driving off stifling our giggles.

To this very day, we still chuckle about it.

Not a Typical Day in the Office

Today was special in a different-from-the-norm kinda way. Not sure if I've mentioned working in a plastic surgical office and today I had the honor of being back in the operating room, holding my dad's hand while he has a minor procedure. Don't let the word "minor" fool you. I'm quite concerned and will be until the pathology report comes back as something that's not malignant.

A few weeks ago my mom mentioned a 'changing' lesion she spotted on my dad's back. It turned out to be two lesions, but we weren't telling him the original lesion had a twin. I insisted he be evaluated by one of our surgeons, Dr. G. as soon as possible and scheduled him for an appointment the following day. I had everything (meaning the surgery date and time) arranged prior to dad's arrival in the office including a surgery date for later that week. What I hadn't taken into consideration was the fact he takes an aspirin a day, which pushed the surgery date back two weeks for the blood-thinning effect of aspirin to get out of his system.

Dr. G assessed the area and reassured me, as much as he could, that he felt the lesion wasn't anything to be unnecessarily alarmed about. I sure do hope he's right on that assessment. Time will tell!

Dr. G. and, more importantly, my dad agreed I could observe the procedure. I didn't want my dad feeling uncomfortable with my presence nor having me see him in his skivvies.

My dad's a tough man who never moved, grimaced or blinked when a series of injections were made to his upper and lower back. Me, on the other hand, would have squirmed like a slippery eel.

Donned in the traditional blue scrubs, matching shoe covers, hat and surgical mask, I peeked across the operative field and watched the series of anesthetic injections. Next, I watched the scalpel outline the area to be excised and observed the tunneling beneath the lesion in order to separate it from surrounding tissues. This was followed by a multi-layer closure and some brown tape to protect and secure the ends of the sutures. He did great!

Medicine fascinates me. I absolutely LOVE being in the O.R. Could I be persuaded to change professions? We'll see!

Just Desserts!

"When the boss(es) are away ..........."

We mice decided to celebrate, toss our diets to the wind, forget the fact we work in a plastic surgical office and unanimously agreed to avoid THE scale. We named it Dessert Monday!

Our lunch table held a selection of goodies ranging from cookies, to brownies, to a lemon meringue pie. The more sugar and calories ---- the better.

Mine contribution was a recipe I stumbled upon recently and needed an excuse to make. It started with a simple devil's food cake mix to which I added a cup of miniature marshmallows and a bag of semi-sweet chocolate/caramel chips. Top that off with a mixture of butter, brown sugar and pecans. Pronounced (pĭ-kän', -kān', pē'kān) depending on your dialect. During a trip to Georgia with my best girlfriend, I discovered I'd saying it all wrong - all these years! LOL

The cake was a hit or, as my family would say, "It's a do-over".

With more days like that we will be considering Aerobic Wednesday and Jog-to-Work Fridays.

Where do We go from here?

Ed was discharged from the hospital Wednesday and has been released to return to work. Great news, right?

Well ... yes and no.

Being reassured the stents are working properly and Ed's heart is healthy enough for the rigors of his work in telecommunications is wonderful news. News he shared with his employer when he called them Thursday morning to turn in just a few sick days to cover his hospitalization and was told "we're sorry but you can't ..... we laid you off on Monday." That would be three days after his admission to the hospital and the day before his catheterization. Hello! Slap!

Can one be 'laid off"' without being told? There were no phone calls to his apartment, our home, nor to his cell phone. All phones are in perfect working condition. Trust me. Using the phone is like breathing for us. So, I ask again --- can one be laid off without notification? Can they DO that? What recourse, if any, do we have short of entering the unemployment system?

This, unfortunately, isn't our first time looking into a future filled with uncertainty. A few months shy of his 20 year work anniversary in the coal mines when "the call" came informing him there would be no more work because the mine closed due to ... you got it! --- economic constraints. I went back to work as a medical secretary and Ed went back to school. We lived on my meager part-time salary and his unemployment. Luckily for us, the day before his last check was to arrive, he began his career in telecommunications.

Now, it's a waiting game. Waiting for the unemployment checks to start and waiting for the economy to pick up in hopes his company's business will pick up so he can rejoin the work force.

Sigh.....

He's Home!

After five days in the hospital, four of which had practically no intervention whatsoever, Ed was discharged today. He was admitted to CMMC early Friday afternoon to revaluate recent changes on his EKG and promptly put in a holding pattern until Monday which turned into Tuesday due to a scheduling conflict (overbooking) in the Cath. Lab (Heaven forbid any surgeon would have worked after 3 p.m. on Friday or *gasp* consider weekend duty!) for a heart catheterization. This is Ed's fourth since his first heart attack diagnosed several years ago.

I remember, fondly, a morning when he laid bed hooked up to more hospital whistles and bells than you can imagine and asked, "What day is it"? "It's Tuesday." I said. He smiled as much as one can with chest tubes, catheter, oxygen, IVs, drains and a lot of pain killers on board and whispered, "It's 6/6/06". This was the day after his quadruple bypass. There had only been one small setback in the interim until this Friday, Feb 29. I'm sure leap year played no role in this recent event.

Now yesterday, what should have been an hour procedure turned into two and one-half when the surgeon discovered one bypass totally blocked. This necessitated locating to the originally blocked artery, reopening it, and inserting three stents to the narrowed areas to get an adequate blood supply re-established. Collaterals only do so much.

The cardiologist said Ed's "at the mercy of his genes" as both parents died in their mid-50's from heart related conditions. Factor in the fact he grew up in a home with chain-smoking parents plus having almost 20 years service working in a coal mine. All of which are taxing on the cardiovascular and respiratory systems.

I will be watching his diet more closely (if that's possible?) and made him promise to exercise on a more regular basis. As an added incentive he has a very important event this August. He will be walking our daughter down the aisle.

Each day is a gift and a blessing. We take nothing for granted.

They're Back!

I do no like bugs in any way, shape or form. In fact, I hate them!

A few years ago ladybugs (adorable and harmless to some --- but not to me) moved into the trim around my bathroom window. At least that where I think??? they took up residence. They, evidently, enjoyed their stay enough (those I didn't capture, swat, stomp or flush ... that is) to invite their grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. They, basically, took over the solitary bathroom window. The little goobers!

I tried squashing them between the frame and tile by pounding my fist on the trim and watching with glee, I might add, when their dead little carcasses dropped to the floor and I swept them up. I also spraying pesticides around the trim both inside and outside the window and watched more of the deceased drop to the floor. They were also promptly put in the trash. I was positive that would be the end of them. Nope, no such luck. Oh sure, they disappeared for a few months but now that warm weather blesses Pennsylvania on rare occasions they're ..... back.

A most colorful flyswatter now resides in the bathroom and when an offensive little ladybug dares makes an appearance I merely scoop it up and deposit it in the toilet. I quit swatting them because cleaning their smelly, staining yellow gunk off the walls is time consuming. Instead, I've made each and every one of these intruders a deal that salvation is theirs IF they can survive the swirling vortex and rushing downpour of water when I hit the toilet handle.

That's fair, right?

ps --- Sorry Carol, no offense intended.

Only MY daughter!

My daughter failed to completely stop at the end of our street a few days ago. To her misfortune, a policeman had been keeping an eye on that intersection. She hadn't gone too far before the flashing lights and siren caught up with her in the rearview mirror. She found a widened area and pulled over, dug into her glove box for her registration and then her wallet for her license.

She sat attentive as the officer scolded her for the slow-n-go. Yes, she had neglected to come to a full and complete stop. Guilty as charged. No biggie. He stood akimbo with arms crossed at the chest and informed her that they were being recorded. Again, no biggie. The rolling camera is as much for her protection as his. Duh!

Next he asked her to put up and then down her driver's side window. She did. This is the point when he got (what she referred to as .....) pissy. He said her windows were tinted illegally dark; however, he did not get out his fancy widdle gun to test them. He warned her that he would be watching for her and that the next time he saw her she'd better have her windows corrected or he would give her a citation. His mistake was in using the term "Missy" to address her. "Missy" in her book is as condescending as "Ma'am" or "Dearie" are in mine. What can I say? Some labels just grate on one's nerves.

She received a verbal warning but she was very concerned about his threat regarding an impending ticket for her windows. Since the windows were already tinted when she bought the car and it has passed in several State inspections, one would think they are just fine and he was being a ............. jerk.

Ding-ding! The light bulb went on and she remembered an acquaintance of ours, Officer B., who just happens to be a State Cop. Who better to ask for clarification and validation? She went to his home and asked him to check her windows. He didn't have the testing equipment there but said he felt her windows were in compliance with State regulations.

She went on to mention the attitude she'd experienced from the patrolman and how she resented being addressed as Missy. Office B. said he'd have "a talk" with that certain rookie and asked if she was interested in filing a formal complaint. She was a little ticked and told him 'yes'. So.... he said he'd be in touch to help her file the necessary paperwork.
.
.
Time passes and tempers cool.
.
.
When he called in follow-up a day later she told him she'd told him she has reconsidered. He still promised to have a talk with the rookie and she's satisfied.

Whew!

Days Off are meant for relaxation, right??

In an attempt to comply with the required early and late hour coverage at the Surgery Center and eliminate overtime one co-worker, Cindy, and I work 4 ten-hour shifts giving us a much appreciated day off during the week. Doing so also helps the other secretaries eliminate the cost for extended daycare services. Cindy and I realize our hours are a temporary gift from administration, as the office manager absolutely hates the fact we've make it work and proved her wrong.

On two prior Tuesdays, I've shoveled pounds and pounds of snow, slush and sleet. It may be great cardiovascular exercise but, seriously, who wants to spend their precious free time doing that? Those Tuesdays weren't exactly "days off".

Yesterday, started out much better. No snow! I went to town, bought a few groceries, and stopped to visit my sister-in-law to give her a belated birthday gift. We talked about our jobs, my niece's bridal shower, my nephew's return from Korea with his wife and son and my daughter's upcoming wedding. We crammed a whole bunch of chatter into that 60 minutes.

After a quick lunch, I decided to take another small step in spring cleaning. Mandie and I hand-washed the china and crystal on Saturday plus dusted the table, chairs and tea cart. I washed the bay window and curtains on Sunday. Tuesday was dedicated to scrubbing the walls.

Everything was going along well until I stumbled into two wooden drying racks I'd moved out of the dining room and into the kitchen. I'd forgotten I'd leaned them against the oven. As I made my way back to the dining room, I hit one with my foot.

This set off a chain of events:

• my right foot hit one rack
• the rack toppled and struck my leg
• I raised my foot to step away as the rack fell but put it down between the slats of the rack
• while attempting to escape that predicament, my other foot hit the carpet and slid

Every move I made was ill-advised. No matter how I tried to keep my feet under me, I failed. It felt as though I were moving in slow motion as I completely lost control and found myself half-sitting, half-laying on the kitchen floor.

My goodness! I screamed "OUCH" several times as I did a mental physical exam making sure nothing hurt badly enough to be broken. A few Tylenol and a warm soak helped very little. This morning I feel as though I'd been hit by a bus. No visible bruises, though. Go figure?

Yes, I had a day off. A day off of work and a day ..... off my feet!

I may be forced to reconsider this four 10-hour-day work concept. I'm not sure my body can't take the abuse. LOL

Tradition

This 'tradition' has been passed down through generations. It started with my MeMe (grandmother for those of you out of the Butler loop). From there it was passed down to my mom, to me, and now to my daughter. Hopefully, someday, my daughter will share it with hers.

Wondering WHAT could be so special as to be worthy of multi-generational forwards? No, it's not a favorite recipe with a secret ingredient, although that may be fodder for a future blog.

What I'm referring to is quite simple (easy, actually) - violent (but not over the top) - silly - insane - harmess - and just plain funny.

Curious???

Picture this if you will.....

Your daughter is wearing her "favorite" jeans. You know the ones. You've had a pair or two that you just can't seem to part with. These comfy jeans are beyond worn out. They're paper thin. The seams are tired. They're thread bare at the knees and backside.

Now comes the fun part. Find the thinnest spot, the place where a small hole has started to form. Bring it to your daughter's attention by pointing directly to it and then poking it with your index finger.

This is it! The opportunity has FINALLY arrived!

Before she realizes your intent, take your index finger and gently encourage the hole to --- grow. Sure, she'll be surprised at first. Shocked even. Don't let that stop you. Once you have a finger-hold, you're in business. Rip that hole and don't stop until either the leg has fallen off or the jeans are in such a condition of disrepair that patches won't help or your best seamstress cries "UNCLE!" in defeat.

Trust me when you've been 'de-jeaned' you'll remember it with a lifetime of giggles.

P. S. - It works equally well on unsuspecting husbands in old t-shirts!

Amelie

Watched my very first sub-titled movie this afternoon!




"Nominated for 5 academy awards including Best Original screenplay, this magical comedy met overwhelming, acclaim nationwide. A painfully shy waitress working at a tiny Paris cafe', Amelie makes a surprising discovery and sees her life drastically changed for the better. From then on, Amelie dedicates herself to helping others find happiness ... in the most delightfully unexpected ways. But will she have the courage to do for herself what she has done for others?"


If restricted just one word to describe Amelie. I'll choose ......... quirky!


This French flick is a foreign concept to me both because of the language and the fact I'd never had to actually "watch" a movie that intently before. I have half-watched, half-listened to movies for years. Guess I'm easily distracted. Today, though, being required to actively participate by reading along drew me in to the point of not wanting to blink for fear of missing something.

I enjoyed this new experience and look forward to my next one.


If anyone actually reads my blog and has a recommendation for a Sunday afternoon read-with-me movie, let me know.

October Girls!

I happened upon this photo recently and found it "blog worthy".

That's me on the left and my dear friend Theresa on the far right. We're the bookends. My daughter, Mandie, is beside me and beside her is Theresa's daughter, Amy.

We may not be Calendar Girls, but we share a lifetime of happy memories, a solid friendship and .......... October birthdays. How great is that!

This picture was taken in June 2005 at Amy's wedding to Nate and this August 8 (that's 08-08-08) I'm hoping duplicate it while celebrating Mandie's marriage to Ron.

My little red bear ..

Introducing (drum roll puhleeze) ------ Cinnamon

This cutie nestled among a few white roses, red carnations and white tiger lillies inside a white-trimmed, red wicker basket was delivered to my office bright and early this morning. He? She?? peaked the interest of many a patient throughout the day and brought more than a few envious looks from nursing and office co-workers.


Happy Valentine's Day to me from Ed!

Team Work!

My daughter and I woke to nearly a foot of snow today!

I'd already arranged to have the day off opting to work four 10-hour shifts at the office. Sleeping in felt w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l. And, since all the schools in our County and two neighboring ones closed due to the inclement weather, Mandie was home.

She and I lazed around in our jammies all morning waiting for the perfect time to attack the blessing Mother Nature bestowed on us. The perfect time being a break in flurries and wind gusts. Much finesse is required when trying to toss a shovel full of snow without having it come back to bite you in the.......face. Shame! Shame on you for what you were were thinking!

We delayed our duties outside by cleaning the upstairs hall closet, losing ourselves in memories as we sorted through various photo albums and even sacrificed some we'd lost affection for -- aka ex-boyfriend ones of hers.

I, in turn, opted to pitch old airline confirmations, luggage tags, train ticket stubs and several Metro cards. One could call me a pack rat although I prefer the label "collector of memorabilia". At any rate it was time to say goodbye to several treasured items. It was painful, but I'm sure to collect more valuables in my next journey from WhoVille to replace them. And then, someday, the mood will strike and I'll part with them. It's a vicious circle. LOL For now I'll enjoy the nice, uncluttered appearance of the inside of ONE closet.
Anyway .. we donned our cuddle-duds, sweats, jackets, boots, gloves and headbands to brave the elements using our matching snow shovels. I suppose we could consider this payback from the numerous winters we stayed while Ed and Ryan tended to this unpleasant chore.

This would be one impressive blog had I the foresight to snap my own photos, ability to shrink them sufficiently rather than borrow a google image to attach using a dial-up connection and then place it strategically in my blog. -------- Carol, I'm starting to weaken. LOL

Achoo, pass a tissue

Cough, sniff, blow, wipe and ..... whine. Not sure if my seasonal allergies are getting an early Spring start or if I caught the office bug that's being passed around with blatant disregard to my health, happiness and productivity. *Gasp* One cannot work with a head that feels as though it weighs 30 pounds and a constantly dripping nasal faucet with no visible shut-off valve.

What's more attractive than a bulbous chapped red nose? Nothing unless .... you're looking for a romantic interlude with Rudolph. The variety of tissue options from lotion, ultra soft, menthol, anti-viral to the ever popular extra large makes selection taxing. My head hurts too much to think. I just want--- a tissue.

According to Wikipedia, "A sneeze (or sternutation) is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the lungs that occurs when a particle (or sufficient particles) passes through the nasal hairs and reaches the nasal mucosa. This triggers the production of histamines, which reach the nerve cells in the nose, which then send a signal to the brain to initiate the sneeze, which relates the initial signal and creates a large opening of the nasal cavity, resulting in a powerful release of air and bioparticles. The reason behind the powerful nature of a sneeze is its involvement of not simply the nose and mouth, but numerous organs of the upper body - it is a reflectory response that involves the muscles of the face, throat, and chest."

I have sneezed too much, too hard and too often resulting in similar aches and pains of 1,000 stomach crunches without the benefit of firm abs. It's not fair!

Observe sneezers around you. You will find at least three types: the polite ones (who barely make a sound and risk injuring their eardrums); the loud ones (who make your eardrums rattle) and, the ever popular sleeve sneezers. Who invented that move anyway? Seriously, is it really more hygienic to sneeze in the crook of your elbow than to use your hand to cover your mouth? The little germs still migrate everywhere and are as impossible to stop as the bulls in Pamploma.

Thank heavens for purse-sized hand sanitizers!

Achoo!

Pass a tissue ...

puhleeze!

Groundhog Day in PA

On February 2 in any given year there are precisely 6 more weeks of winter.
Don't believe me? Look at your calendar!However we Pennsylvanians rely on Punxsutawney Phil .... a groundhog ... to predict the weather.

The celebration of Groundhog Day began in Pennsylvania in the 1800's with the first "official" trek to Gobbler's Knob on Feb. 2, 1887. Rumor has it that Punxsutawney Phil was named after King Phillip. I suppose that's an honor and tribute? Prior to being called Phil, he was called Br'er Groundhog. (Threw that last part in so that you may impress your friends if it pops up as Final Jeopardy question some day.)

Festivities start at 3 am. Parking is limited so come early. However, for the bargain price of $5 per person, you may ride a shuttle from downtown (ha ha ha...if you've ever been there you'd understand) Punxsutawney to Gobbler's Knob to witness Phil's prediction in person.

Here are some FAQs:

• Yes! Punxsutawney Phil is the only true weather forecasting groundhog and has been predicting the weather for 120 years!. The others are just impostors. The number of imposters is mind-boggling!


• According to legend, if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather. If he does not see his shadow, there will be an early spring. Note: It woud be impossible not to see one's shadow with all the television lights and camera flashes.


• Phil's longevity stems from drinking the secret elixir of life. When he takes one sip at the Groundhog Picnic each summer, Phil is magically given an additional 7 years of life.


• After Phil emerges from his burrow, he speaks to the Groundhog Club president (also an imbiber of a special elixir) in "Groundhogese"(a language only understood by the current president of the Inner Circle).
  
• No! Phil's forecasts are not made in advance by the Inner Circle. Darn!

This yearly celebration of silliness was immortalized in the movie "Groundhog Day" released in 1993 starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, and Chris Elliott.

And for the curious, yes, he saw his shadow this morning and yes, there will be six more weeks of winter. Duh!

The Pangs of Withdrawal

Is there an support group for internet addicts?

My laptop died recently and neither all the king's horses (my limited knowledge) nor all the king's men (Dell's technical support guru) could revive it.

This dilemma tickled my husband and daughter who will most probably bury me in my glider rocker, feet propped on the matching gliding ottoman with this or another laptop resting comfortably on ....... my laptop.

AOL insisted on installing 'updates'. Since I'm on dial-up this several minutes or longer depending on the number of up-dates to be done. The computer normally shuts itself off afterwards. No biggie. I've gone to bed without babysitting it in the past, so I went to bed. Mistake! Big mistake. HUGE!!! When I tried to sign on the following morning, the entire bottom screen option menu was gone making starting, restarting or navigating my desktop and computer options virtually impossible. *Gasp!* AOL wouldn't load! I sat with fingers crossed as I'd watch the little yellow running man make his way to step 4 time and time again only to hit the virtual brick wall.

I called Dell and was connected to a man who had an adequate amount of computer knowledge but, a poor grasp of the English language. To say we needed an interpreter is a major understatement. The tech and I muddled through numerous attempts in 'safe mode' which was proudly displayed on all four corners of my screen so many times I was beginning to consider for my new background.

We tried a few things before he requested a credit card number so he could "talk me through" a complete restoration; a process that, he informed me, would take two sessions and approximately 6 hours. 6 hours! Um, no way! I wasn't about to spend six hours traveling so deep inside my computer that I might never see the light of day again and pay a small fortune the process. I told Mr. Guru I'd take my baby to the nearest Geek Squad for an over-nighter first. LOL

Just then my daughter and her fiance strolled in. Imagine this! He's a computer whiz AND he speaks English. Yeah, you see where this is headed, don't you? I put him to work the next day and, as you can see, I'm up and running.

Life is good!

Tipping is a bonus not an obligation

This weekend while dining out with my husband, Ed, we started talking (laughing actually) about a day-trip we had taken to Manhattan with my daughter and her boyfriend last year.

We'd been sightseeing for several hours when we spotted a TGI Fridays and agreed that sodas and dessert were in order. The waitress tossed menus our direction and slammed paper napkin wrapped silverware in the middle of the table. She was snippy, rude and impatient. Unfortunately, for her, the snippier she got the funnier we found it.

Upon a quick glance at the menu we discovered a simple cup of tea was $4 and that the rest of the menu fare was equally inflated. Yes, it is NYC but........ really?!?!?! This seemed to fuel our silly mood. The waitress was not amused at our laughter. She caught us snapping a photo of our bill and demanded to know why, asked if something were wrong and would we like to speak with the manager. We assured her there was no problem.

We couldn't tell her the reason we took a photo of the bill was to remember the circled area on it where she dared suggest the tip she felt she deserved. There were options for 'good', 'great' or 'exceptional' service with dollar amounts in increasing value. We instead chose to tip her in accordance with her demeanor.

Waitressing is a fine art. I know this because I waited tables the summer between my junior/senior year of high school many, MANY moons ago. It's hard work, physically and mentally and the pay stinks.

Tipping is a bonus for a job well done. It is optional. Is it just me or do you find it in poor taste to dictate a reward for doing your job?

Oh and, by the way, the waitress we had last weekend in Hershey screwed up our order and was still tipped 20%. The reason, you may ask, is simple. She was pleasant, she smiled and she didn't assume or expect one. In short, we liked her.

TENJOOBERRYMUDS

I will apologize ahead of time to anyone who takes a personal affront to the following forward I received recently and found too hilarious not to share. As Larry the Cable Guy would say, "I don't care who you are ... this IS funy!"

By the time you've finished reading this you will understand "TENJOOBERRYMUDS"...

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS". With a little pratice and patience, you'll be able to fit right in...

Here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in the good ol' US today.

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"Guest: "....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... don't think so."

RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this , but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side"

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy..tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything"

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Understand 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' now? C'mon smile you know you want to! :)

Encouraging Illiteracy or Laziness?

Have you noticed how easy it is to avoid reading? Have you? Take note of your car dashboard, for example. Cute little photos have replaced the words wipers and lights. If the driver cannot read and has to rely on pictures, how did they pass a driving test? Who reads the map for them when they're lost? Oh wait! That's right! We have navigation systems that provide verbal directions as to which way to turn and when. Shouldn't we be able to figure those things out for ourselves? Are we lazy?

The next time you place a fast food order at your favorite automated take-out convenience store pay attention to whether your options for condiments are words or photos indicating such items as lettuce, tomato, onions and/or salt & pepper.

More often than not, restrooms show clever gender specific photos rather than men or women.

And my pet peeve .................. (drum roll puhleeze) ...............

Press 1 for English?? I'm not even going there!

Looked it up in my Funk & Wagnalls

Vituperation, invective, vitriol = abusive or venomous language used to express blame or censure or bitter deep-seated ill will.

Oh yeah, there's a story here and no, I'm not sharing.

Since previous blogs have contained both "the good" and "the bad" --- there was bound to come a time for "the ugly". This is it!

I promise my future blogs will concentrate only on good.